A very good place to start (again)
Getting it out of my head and into the world
It has now been a few years since running headfirst into the pinkwashed brick wall called breast cancer at age 35.
See, since that day, my life has been wildly rearranged, reduced in some ways, expanded in others, and partially rebuilt. The lens I now see through makes nearly everything unrecognizable from what it was before. Remembering back to 2016 (the year of my diagnosis), there was a quote on Pinterest that resonated:
You won’t always feel like this.
I didn’t believe it. Obviously it was written by someone who hadn’t been handed this flaming pile. And I was right. For a while.
Finally, with help, I began to see my story as one that didn’t ended at the climax or obstacle, without resolution. It was no longer a boring storyline of “This shitty, unresolvable thing happened. The end.”
I wanted to push past the obstacle to find the transformation that comes at the end of the story and beyond. There are lessons learned and irreversible changes. There’s even wisdom I daresay.
I had to do this or my story would have ended at the shitty part. I would have packed up any joy, self respect, and fortitude and tossed it into the bin. I would have medicated myself into numbness to match the disbelief that It — cancer — had happened at all. I would have remained in the terrible middle of the story forever.
That’s not who I am. Good grief, this story needs an ending.
But first, we have to start at the beginning again.
To go back in time even though you probably shouldn’t, the original story as it was happening is here: https://girlnotbrave.wordpress.com/
Photo by Monstera Production: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-holding-hardcover-book-with-blank-cover-6373291/
Thank you for sharing this post to help me reach the next girl.